The last time I posted anything like this, it was meant to be a discussion rather than an emo rant. Apparently the language didn't carry it though, but so be it I guess.

Thanks for all who sms-ed me thinking I was going to emo and break down lols.

Now that I look back, its not even funny any more. Prelims in coming up within the week, and I'm still doing like shit.

I mean, how the fuck do you get 2/13 for an economics essay? The worst thing is that while you thought you pwned the exam, you receive scores that would give you an utter U in A levels.

I dunno what's wrong with me, its the first time I've been so stressed over an exam like this. Its really damn fucked up, especially when prelim scores won't even be affecting my life in anyway at all. Its not even A Levels and I won't be needing predicted grades of any form.

But now as I type this, I'm really feeling the stress. Freak, its really like nothing before. That sense of just utter helplessness as you see that 2/13, for econs, and 24/50 for your General Paper Essay.

Its one thing to be competitive, but its a thin line between competitive and just fucking desperate. And I think I've really crossed the line this time.

Then again, right here, I can't really answer myself on what I'm actually desperate for. Seriously, I'm desperate for what? Scores? Nope. Self-Fulfillment? Maybe but its not in studies. Winning the rest? Fuck that who cares about that?

argh.