Holbein Hall. Home for the next year. Keen eyes will notice Stanford Bridge on the bottom left of the map.

I feel rather emo now.

Its true, after some thought, it does come to be that there's really not much point in hiding any of it. Put yourself in my situation. You're teaching a group of Sec 3 kids, dying to win a National Science Competition to be shown on national television. You're going to be flying off to London for 9 months, despite only having been to Malaysia his whole life. You're on a scholarship demanding a 2nd Upper in every term or risk losing the scholarship and even paying back the Liquidated Damages of a crazy amount. You applied for 5 single rooms for accommodation and still ended up in a twin room. You worry what kind of a roommate you'll get. You pretty much am starting to realize that you'll be gone from friends and family for 9 months, as well as wonder, who will still be the close ones after the period of time. You worry if anything could happen in the family within the 9 months that you wouldn't be able to come back and help for.

I'm not going to say its a trying time. Its not. Its merely just studying, albeit 6845 miles away from home. Its not like I'm alone, going into the university with the highest number of Singaporeans outside Singapore.

Yet, there's still something that keeps tugging upon my heart, as if telling me that its still not the time to go studying that far away. Still so many things left undone, still so many things left to try, still so many people left to meet, still to many friends left to speak with.

I wonder if its merely just the homesickness within me that's acting up. Perhaps so. I'll probably never be able to tell for now, so there's really not much point in thinking much about it. I know there's pretty much no turning back, and there's really no reason for being so paranoid or worried about anything, yet, its just acting up.

Its really nothing like the first day into Tekong, or first day into any school. Its just a completely different feeling. The choice made for the 3 years in Imperial. And following that, 1 year of Masters, followed by repaying 1 year 9 months of National Service, then 1 year of NIE, then 2.5 years of classroom teaching, 9 months of my time in HQ, 2 more years in another Ministry and back to MOE for another few months.

That's the future already fixed for me.

I guess it was worst when I looked back and wondered if I've made the most stupid decision of my life when I signed on the dotted line. After a stint at BP, at least I know that I wasn't joking when I said I like the job.

....

"Risks - If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments." - Ashleigh Brilliant