Damn. In a blink of an eye, its already my second Chinese New Year in London. While planning for this essay on my way to school on the day before, I must admit, it was rather nostalgic thinking back into last year's celebrations, and even more into the ones back in Singapore.

I remember that it was that first major holiday back in Singapore that was noticeably uncelebrated by the population here, but restaurants in Chinatown were of course, poised to make a killing on the day itself, so 12 of us decided to work out a hotpot dinner for the group. We booked the common space of the hall for the night, and prepared the meat and vegetables deep into the night the night before. Come close to the dinner, the place had to be arranged. Rice cookers were used to keep the broth boiling while we talked and watched a movie. Cleanup began after concluding the dinner with Yu Sheng, and you wonder how 12 people that have met only months ago can end up celebrating together like family that quickly. As I made my way back into my room, walking in the cold winder air, I came to the realization that school began the immediate day.

There were no bank holidays for the Chinese New Year in London.

It was quite a peaceful celebration for once. It was really rather different from the ones back in Singapore before leaving for London. Food would be catered in, and all of us would gather in my Uncle's home, where Ah Ma stays now. I would accept the Angbaos with cliché replies, and pass it over to my parents without thinking much of it. The children would be crowded around the playstation or computer, our parents reminiscing about the year, and the rest of us letting our voices go on the Karaoke machine. Soon enough it would get late, the adults would soon run out of topics, the teenagers would get bored extremely quickly, after losing our voices, and we would have to pry the children away from the games and head home. I remember vaguely that we always arrived home really early at 9pm, and I wondered how time could have passed so slowly back then. I remember feeling a bit dejected that CNY was no longer as fun as back when I was a child.

Specifics about the celebrations back when I was a child really didn't stick in my mind. However, I remembered being really carefree as a child, when joy and fun where the only aim in life. I never studied much in my Primary School life, electing to spend most of my time reading books and watching television. I never really cared about why doing specific things made me happy, but just did them just because it did. When Chinese New Year came, a visit to my 'Ah Ma Jia', when it wasn't sold yet, was something I really looked forward to. I remember being extremely happy whenever I collected Hongbaos there, be it $2 or $5. This is despite the fact that I never got to use any of those money - My mom has always deposited the money into the bank the very next day. "Saving up for rainy days.", she would always remind me. Back then, my Ah Ma would always insist that the food would be home-made. I don't remember much about the variety, but there would always be fried chicken wings, and the pudgy me would gobble the wings down. 20 were the minimum per year. Why 20? Because I was happy with that number. After dinner, my Pa would move to the mahjong tables outside the door, and the children would engage in some instantly-created games with the di lams(Mattresses) in my grandmother's air-conditioned room. It would not be long before I would distinctly remember my Pa hollering, "Er Shi Yi Dian!" as he moved back into the room with a stack of cards, and everyone would surround him, with him as the banker for almost every year. I disliked gambling back then in the past. But he would always pass me 50 cents, and continue to do so whenever I lost it away to him. "Not really gambling right?" I could distinctly remember him saying in Chinese. Midnight would soon come, and finally the game would stop, with Pa distributing this winnings back to the Children. "Extra Angbao!", he would say, as he ushered us downstairs to help with the burning of joss paper, with sparklers to fill in the time before heading home.

There were no playstations or computers, but time seemed to always pass really fast. There was that same sense of dejection as these thoughts went through my mind. CNY in Singapore has really changed during my course to adolescence. When you are thrown into the realities of life with deaths and calamities. I wondered if it was my problem, that it was just too pessimistic to see the bright side of the festival, unlike the past when such things were never in my mind for even a fleeting moment.

As I celebrated the CNY this year in London, my second year helping out with getting the food and all set up, I realized that whatever it is, there was no point in answer that question anymore.

At 20, it was no longer waiting for the festival to come to you, you had to make it happen. It was something that perhaps a young adult would be expected to do, hope everyone else can enjoy the meal and all that is to come.

What that happened when I was a teenager, and why did not matter much anymore. There was no point in dissecting the issue. Tossing away the past and looking forward, I was rather pleased that the dinner went rather well for everyone this year in our flat.

Gong Xi Fai Cai. Happy Lunar New Year all.