It has been quite a while since the last time I had posted. Unfortunately that would have to be the case, being a busy Year 2 Undergrad in Imperial. Topology coursework was really a pain.

Through the week, with work piling up in all directions, decisions to be made, and self doubt about my own mathematical abilities as I stared at the coursework with no avail, I had another one of what I like to call, Reminder Moments(RM).

You know, that moment in time that you simply stop. And start to assess your situation, usually in an emo light, and ending with the conclusion that you're simply not working hard enough, or not giving enough work to making your life more fulfilled or meaningful before death. Usually such problems are also attributed with the problem of playing too much games, reading too much mangas, or because of a stupid flash game. (Click here its awesome.)

Upon this realization that you already had millions of time before, you allow yourself to wallow in self pity as you binged on a gammon shank from your local Saintsbury's (An equivalent in Singapore to this is NTUC). After which you receive a link from your friend about something motivational, and you decide to write a blogpost about the whole thing, despite intending to keep quiet about it initially.

As I planned the post, I start to really wonder to myself, despite having so many RMs in my life, what effect exactly have they left in my life? I come to the realization that ironically, if they did leave any strong effects in the first place, the next one would never be strong enough to be considered as an RM would it? Especially when they're usually about the same thing. Either before or after an inability to do something, work or grades.

Then again, if I do have that many of such moments, is that a sign of my inability to take heed from my previous mistakes? It does seem like the case. From something as trivial as exercising, when until now I still get moments when I can't believe I'm not doing any exercise regularly at all, to bridge, where I'm still irritated about the fact that I'm unable to learn with the U21s back in Singapore. And truthfully? I've done absolutely nothing about them.

If anything, perhaps I should be happy that these moments are still around. Without them, I really do feel that I would even lose touch with my own personal beliefs that easily gets overwashed by hedonistic desires.

Saying that, perhaps I'm one of the weak-willed ones out there. With great ambition to take things out from my life, but succumbing to easily to the temptations of life. But then again, would I have done things differently?

Of course in the future, yes. But what about when you're in the situation you're in?

I guess I should just live with the same philosophy in mind. There's isn't a perfect world, but the closest you'll ever get to it its what you have. Because its all you have. Until then, I shall try to build my discipline and thank the RM for visiting my life regularly.